Don't you just love it when the mouth-breathers at FirstEnergy explain themselves into a corner?

On August 15, FirstEnergy filed its first monthly statistical report.  The Commission had previously ordered FirstEnergy to submit monthly data for at least a year so they could keep an eye on these shysters.

In its first report, "FirstEnergy stated that its data 'excludes annual meter reading accounts up through 11 months'.”

Now the Commission has ordered FirstEnergy to explain just what an "annual meter reading account" is, and provide statistical data on these accounts as well.

Shhh... if you know why the Commission did this, keep it to yourself.  I want to see if FirstEnergy's brain trust can figure this out on their own...

Too bad stupidity isn't painful.  Ha ha ha!

FirstEnergy filed a proposed settlement with the WV PSC today.  The settlement requests approval of the internal sale of Harrison between two FirstEnergy subsidiaries at full asking price, and includes a few cheap parting gifts for some of the other parties in order to thank them for playing the FirstEnergy Corporate Separation Issues Game.

The settlement must still be approved by the WV PSC, but as I told a reporter this afternoon, chances of the PSC not approving a settlement in this case are slim to none.  But, if you'd like to vent about this crazy miscarriage of justice and the PSC's lack of leadership and vision for West Virginia and how it continues to cost ratepayers money, feel free to let them have it (select case number 12-1571 from the drop down list).

So, let's jump in here, shall we?  The parties to this case included FirstEnergy, PSC staff, the Consumer Advocate ("your" representative), the West Virginia Energy Users Group (representing the interests of a group of industrial electric customers, such as Essroc Cement), different union groups representing labor, the Sierra Club, the WV Coal Association (representing our friend coal), a couple of West Virginia natural gas trade associations and the West Virginia Citizens Action Group.  All parties either agreed to this appallingly bad settlement, or took no position (the gas groups).  The only hold out was West Virginia Citizens Action Group, who opposes the settlement.  Good for you, WV CAG!  At least some organization is sticking up for the public interest.  The rest of the parties?  Yeah, they all went creeping off with their tail between their legs after FirstEnergy threw them a cheap, carnival prize.  Let's take a look at who got what:

1.    West Virginia Coal Association - got this limp, meaningless statement inserted in the settlement:
"The Companies will maximize the amount of West
Virginia coal to be burned at Harrison consistent with the obligation to procure reliable sources of coal at the lowest available cost and other relevant West Virginia statutory provisions."  It does nothing.  Congratulations, coal!  For this, you sold ratepayers down river!

2.    Labor - got the promise that FirstEnergy will create 50 new jobs in West Virginia.  You will pay for these jobs in your electric bill, of course.  The jobs cannot be related to the Potomac Edison billing General Investigation (no new meter readers!) and cannot be legal, accounting, finance or rate jobs (no white collars -- blue only!) and should be in the distribution sector as directed by PSC staff.  This probably means more linemen, which really can't be a bad thing, however, it does nothing to ameliorate the billion dollar cost of owning Harrison.  Congratulations, labor!  For this, you sold ratepayers down river!

3.    WV Energy Users Group - got an "Economic Stability Credit" that will total around $2.3M in electric rate credits to industrial rate classes K & PP.  Congratulations, WVEUG!  For a crappy $2.3M in your own pocket, you sold ratepayers down river!

4.    Sierra Club - got a promise from FirstEnergy to retire $100K of Renewable Energy Credits so that someone else is required to buy them.  The credits will not be available for trade in WV's ineffectual Alternative & Renewable Portfolio Standard.  But since that was such a crappy gift, Sierra Club also got the promise of a plan to create a program to increase energy efficiency by reducing electricity usage by .5% (yes, that's one-half of one percent) of 2013 sales by 2018.  You will pay extra for that though, little ratepayer, although those industrial users may opt out of paying their share as long as they don't use the program.  Congratulations, Sierra Club!  You probably were never really interested in having the WV PSC deny the transaction, you just wanted to get your free gifts (at ratepayer expense)!  For this, you sold ratepayers down river!

5.    Governor Earl Ray Tomblin (wait, he's not a party!) - got a $500K contribution to his "Kids First" program over the next five years.  This program will "support" energy efficiency in schools.  But, wait, that's not all the trinkets that were rained down on our state government!  There was also $500K over the next five years to state low-income energy assistance programs, and an additional $500K over five years to the WV Office of Economic Opportunity Weatherization Program (yes, the program that was investigated for mismanaging funds by giving preference to program employee relatives, paying contractors who hardly worked, etc.).  This contribution is in addition to the $250,000
amount currently included in rates as a result of the Joint Stipulation in Case No. 09-1352-E-42T.  !PLUS! Another $250,000 per year, funded by customers, paid toward WV's low-income assistance Dollar Energy Fund.  It's awful nice of FirstEnergy to give away our money to get the assistance of the state in screwing its electric consumers out of over a billion dollars.  Congratulations, Governor Tomblin!  For this, you sold ratepayers down river!

6.    WV PSC Staff and Consumer Advocate - got some really masterful corporate bookkeeping hocus pocus that will keep the financial magnitude of this transaction from becoming a reality for struggling consumers for the next 16 months.  Because this transaction includes not only the purchase of Harrison, but also the sale of Pleasants, there are actual credits that will reduce ratepayer liability.  However, our thoughtful regulators have included the $25M in credits upfront over the first 16 months of ownership, instead of applying the credit over the useful life of Harrison (life of Harrison - 27 years, life of Pleasants credits - 1.33 years).  It only makes it look like the transaction doesn't cost as much as it did.  In addition, our regulators arranged to allow FirstEnergy to create a regulatory asset (or holding account) for deferred costs to include a whole bunch of little charges and actual amounts spent so you won't see them in your bill today (but eventually you will pay the charges, with interest!)  The best part, though, is the $129M yearly credit to rates that will supposedly come from Harrison's sales revenue and cost reductions.  This magical money machine will completely obviate any rate increases and actually result in a 1.5% decrease in your rates (unless you're an industrial customer, then you get a 5% decrease because you had a lawyer at the table).  Now stop and take a moment to reflect on this:  If this transaction was always going to reduce rates over the long run, do you think all these parties would have wasted time and money opposing it?  Of course not, FirstEnergy and the settling parties are lying to you with a sugar-coated, alternative version of reality, hoping you don't get too angry at the way they have failed you, the ratepayer. The Consumer Advocate has so thoughtfully swept the nasty bits under the rug, instead of protecting your interests for a change.  Some advocate.  What a joke!  For this, you sold ratepayers down river?

There's also something really funky going on with accounting for a reduction to the full purchase price that is to be written off (or is it?  only the phantom knows!).  The amount added to rate base that you'll be paying off over the next 27 years is $795,851,333.   Isn't that funny?  Looks like someone wanted to "split the difference" with FirstEnergy and assume half of the inflated merger book value that should never be recovered from ratepayers.  Half-a-Loaf Harris strikes again!  Depending on which section of the settlement, or which Exhibit you're reading, FirstEnergy is going to book an impairment of anywhere between $256 to 351M.  Yes, FirstEnergy's accounting leaves much to be desired, but our representatives have historically proven themselves completely clueless about regulatory accounting and inept at recognizing when they are being cheated, so this is probably just one of those "regulatory got'chas," this time directed at ratepayers.  It's a regular little (Gary) Jack-in-the-Box that's going to pop out eventually as time continues to crank the handle of this box of balefulness.

Here's why contract meter readers without uniforms or company vehicles are a bad idea:

Imposter

Imposter

Imposter

Imposter
(this one is especially fun because the imposter offered to alter the electric meter to reduce the customer's bill)

Imposter

So, how do you know when a meter reader is the real thing?

This story says a real meter reader will be sporting a:

Shirt and vest with company logo
ID badge

And they come once a month.

Or maybe imposters just work for FirstEnergy, who is too cheap to buy uniforms or company vehicles for its meter readers.  In fact, FirstEnergy is too cheap to even hire enough meter readers to come as required every other month.

For this, you each pay $5.00 per month.

"Woof, woof," said Ms. Lindy.

"An intruder has been spotted in the driveway!  He looks like this..."

But when I looked outside, it was just an

wearing a

and driving a pick up truck that had orange and blue stripes, like this, but also a confusing logo that said "Potomac Edison"

To add to our confusion he wasn't wearing a

So we couldn't be sure whether he really was a Potomac Edison meter reader or a ninja burglar.

What do you think?

Check out the list of Potomac Edison and Mon Power staff over the last 4 years that was filed in the PSC General Investigation on Friday.

It's pretty obvious that the number of Meter Readers has fallen since the FirstEnergy/Allegheny Energy merger.

Oops, FE.

But check out the bloated number of managers, directors, and "senior" personnel, which seems to be on the rise.

Who do you think is going to keep the lights on here?  Not these "managers."  If FirstEnergy was a bee colony, this hive full of queens and drones would starve to death.

FirstEnergy's continued cuts to operating expenses (more were announced just the other day) have now opened the door for scammers to take advantage of the company's customers.

Read this report by Potomac Edison Customer Danny Lutz:

Danny later reports:

And finally, Danny got tired of waiting for a reply from Meyers:

Nice going, Todd!  The fake email address adds just the right touch to your bumbling attempts to satisfy this customer.

Why aren't Potomac Edison's meter readers wearing uniforms and driving company trucks?  Because those things cost money!  FirstEnergy's cost cutting now allows any person to pretend to be a meter reader, even those with ulterior motives.  How easy would it be to buy a lime green vest, a blinking light and a fake magnetic sign in order to go door-to-door to see who's home... or not?

Danny is not a liar.  FirstEnergy needs to provide a staff of professional meter readers, not unidentified people driving anonymous vehicles and waving electronic devices.  If you have a question about an unidentified person trespassing on your property that you suspect may be a Potomac Edison meter reader (or someone posing as one), do not approach.  Call Todd and ask him to identify the person 724 838 6650.

FirstEnergy got their quarterly grilling this afternoon, after releasing second quarter financial results that were less than impressive.

FirstEnergy's net profits were a minus 39 cents per share. 

FirstEnergy has been slashing operating costs, such as the cost of reading customer meters in West Virginia, Maryland and Pennsylvania, but now even that's not enough.  Won't it be interesting to see Potomac Edison try to pull its corporate keister out of the fire while cutting spending on meter services even further?  Maybe they ought to leave one of those open positions available... the one titled "Regulatory Magician."

In order to make up for his own poor management, useless figurehead Tony the Trickster has decided to cut employee benefits like health insurance and pensions, in addition to laying off hundreds of employees.  I didn't hear him making any personal sacrifices though.  Our pal Tony will still rake in $23M in compensation in 2013, to include company-paid financial planning and tax preparation services; personal use of the corporate jet; annual compensation and performance awards.  So while you're struggling to make ends meet or pay your badly estimated electric bill, just remember that the Alexander household feels your pain (in a vague, annoying sort of way kind of like the pain you might feel when getting a fish pedicure).

Despite earlier regulatory puffery where FirstEnergy threatened to back out of the Harrison plant sale unless it got everything it wanted at full price, apparently the company is now involved in settlement talks.

"Briefs and reply briefs were filed by the parties in July and with the conclusion of the regulatory proceeding, the commission may issue an order at any time. We are however, currently in active settlement discussions with all parties in this case, and we are very hopeful that we can reach an resolution through this process."

Going back on your word so soon, FirstEnergy?  I was really looking forward to watching you struggle with that "great asset" after your proposal was denied by the WV PSC.  A settlement would just ruin my fun.  :-( 

More later...

FirstEnergy subsidiary "Potomac Edison" submitted its most recent discovery responses in the General Investigation case before the WV PSC yesterday.  In its response to one of the Consumer Advocate's questions, "Potomac Edison" cites an "article" from this blog.

Of course, the invitation received was the infamous invitation to the Citizens' Public Hearing from George Rutherford that The Friddler lied about to the Jefferson County Commission, telling them that the invitation did not mention the Harrison plant transfer.

I'm so glad this blog could be of service to FirstEnergy, bringing them news that they "forward internally."

It wasn't too long ago, however, when FirstEnergy's PATH companies were complaining about this blog to the WV PSC:

Maybe I should start charging them admission?

In the wake of the WV PSC's refusal to dismiss its investigation of billing practices, FirstEnergy subsidiaries Potomac Edison and Mon Power have now mounted what's known as a charm offensive.  A charm offensive is a public relations campaign designed to build trust and mollify a perturbed public in order to repair a company's image.  In FirstEnergy's case, the company is  trying desperately to sweep away the mess its former Allegheny Energy subsidiaries have made of billing and meter reading in the wake of their merger with FirstEnergy in 2011.

Unfortunately, FirstEnergy's charm offensive is being carried out by a squinty-eyed, loquacious fabulist who is not well-liked, either by the public or the media.  Our friend Todd is carrying too much flaming baggage from the PATH project, and other dubious claims he has spun for the public in recent memory.  Nobody believes a thing Todd says anymore.  Looks like FirstEnergy is going to have to find a more charming spokesperson.

Here's what Todd told WV Metro News the other day:

"Customers started complaining to the PSC several months ago after meter readers with both companies fell behind following Superstorm Sandy. Meyers said they were helping with the power restoration efforts. Bills were estimated for some customers for consecutive months and the estimates were based on the previous mild winter. When the actual readings took place, customers received very expensive bills."

Customers have been complaining for a lot longer than "several months," although Potomac Edison has only acknowledged some of the complaints in recent months, after the PSC opened an investigation in response to public outrage and legislative anger.  The company's problems started following the "superstorm" of the 2011 Allegheny/FirstEnergy merger, and the ensuing spending cuts and stunning incompetence that brought bi-monthly meter reading to a screeching halt.  The PSC has called foul on Todd's excuse that meters were not read because personnel were "helping with power restoration efforts," or that estimates were made based on any logical process at all and were not, instead, made up out of whole cloth.

Todd insists that Potomac Edison should be granted more time to actually do the job that you're paying them to do every month, and that you should overlook continued erroneous billing and skipped meter readings while they "work through the issues individual customers have with double billing and estimated meter readings."

I don't think so, Todd.  Potomac Edison has had months already to clean up its act, and years to have gotten it right in the first place.  The public is done being patient.  The public has become quite bloodthirsty and a sacrifice must be made to appease them.  How about we start with Todd and his "out of whack" charm offensive?

Interesting article in the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette.  It seems like the locals are a bit miffed at the way Ohio-based FirstEnergy has been slowly cannibalizing former Pittsburgh energy star Allegheny Energy.

That echoes an anonymous sentiment I saw in an online forum yesterday, where it was said that FirstEnergy is wrecking what used to be a good company.  It's all about the stockholder dividends anymore.  FirstEnergy doesn't give a damn about its customers, or the communities where it does business.

FirstEnergy made all sorts of glittering promises to regulators and communities in order to get its merger approved, and has been systematically violating its promises ever since.

FirstEnergy just doesn't care if you don't like it, little customers.  The company has a monopoly in this state, step in line and take what you are served.

But, FirstEnergy's monopoly state franchise isn't irrevocable.  Look what's happening in another town that got fed up with a different out-of-state utility conglomerate...